True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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