i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize