Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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