What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
