why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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