beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
