I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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