Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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