I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
