I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We have started to decorate penises.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
