i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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