I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
