He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
