I heard we made out
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
