I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
wow bdsm is so cute
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
