whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
