She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize