It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
