He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
