My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
