I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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