I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
