my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize