Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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