I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
