I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There are leaves in my underwear?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
