Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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