I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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