people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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