yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
