Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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