Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize