If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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