I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
