he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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