I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
