Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
