my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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