that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
