i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize