no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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