last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
