I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have already put on my inside pants.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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