He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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