You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
