Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
