This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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