Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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