She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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