You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We are all done wearing pants today
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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