I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
