what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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