Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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