I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
