If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize