He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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