Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
