I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
