Me too!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize