what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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