I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
