Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
tell me about the fingering
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize