good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
