Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
