I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
